Assassinating The Monster

Miracles are starting to happen since doing my blog in the mornings. I knew they would. It's the natural order of things.

I'm so happy today. I woke up from a dream where I was trapped in a dark house with my biggest fear and sadness dressed as an oversized monster, who looked similar to Oogie Boogie from 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' movie. 😱
It was clear he was after me and defeating him visually and rationally appeared to be overwhelmingly challenging. But it wasn't. I knew what to do.

Through precise movement and very little effort, I led him right where I wanted him. Then said the word, "Assassin," and something dropped from the ceiling, splitting him in two, with both sides opening up, allowing himself to escape from himself. Out of both halves oozed a thick, black slime, and instead of falling to the floor, it rose up, twisted in the air and began to dissipate.

The act of breaking open the monster and exposing his insides to the light, created freedom for all. I was safe. My kids were safe. Everyone was safe.

*****

I intentionally called the monster a him, because each half of this monster represented a meaningful male figure in my life, as well as the energies I associated with them. I loved and missed each of these men dearly.

One man was a lover who I am deeply connected with on the spiritual plane. We have not connected in the physical in quite some time, but still have an intense spiritual and psychic connection. I had a hard time understanding what was happening between us, and why we were so connected, and therefore mixed a lot of fear into our energy.

The other man, I held a lot sadness in my heart for. He was my best friend for over 20 years and suddenly stopped talking with me. I never understood it. I tried to rationalize it, but I truthfully did not understand. So I was left feeling sad; very sad, with a little anger.

But yesterday, I chose to release all negativity during my morning writing, and shortly after, both men reentered my life, bringing me good news, joy and communication. We began resolving things. I could literally feel our hearts opening up to each other, and our defenses coming down. It was so beautiful. I can't tell you how light-hearted and blessed I feel now.

I felt even better when I shared the good news with my boyfriend and my kids. <3

The word 'Assassin' in my dream seemed a little harsh, but it was clear. I probably subconsciously chose that word because I've been watching The Umbrella Academy the past few days (I love that show). And perhaps I needed a word that was strong enough to cut through the bullshit (aka the monster I created in my psyche).

I chose to assassinate anything in my consciousness that was not of divine wisdom, which allowed some of the best parts of my life to return to me. #trulygrateful

I also got a message from my mom that she's selling her house and I've got to get my Affirming Arts™ inventory out of there. I have 4000 posters that I need to sell and sell quick. I don't have space for them here, so guess who will be having a sale!

Yep! I wanted a little push to move that inventory, and now I have one. Plus, selling those posters would give me enough money for a down payment on a house, which I want so very much. I can feel it now. 🏡😁🤗

Now it's time for my future-past-present story:

I remember a time when my boyfriend and I bought the house that was divinely selected for us. It was perfect in every way for each of our desires and our personal, professional and spiritual needs.
It flowed. The energy in it was amazing. And we often danced, sang and laughed heartily in it.
We enjoyed the spaciousness, organization and cleanliness of each area. Our friends and family loved it too. It had the most amazing pool, porch and outdoor area. Such wonderful times! 🏊🏡

Today I’m grateful for:
Allowing my heart to open fully and energetically flow with someone I was resistant to.

I’m looking forward to:
Drawing again. I have been thinking about the next series of drawings I'll be doing. Not sure when I'll start it, but I'm excited about it. 😁

My intention is:
to have the table cleared off, plus provide each person I interact with today the best service I can provide.

Today's affirmations:
I release all that is unlike love.
Breath is life.
I shall dance like a wild woman in the wind.

Something I can do today to make tomorrow better is: prepare for my meetings with people. Have everything I need to provide them ready.

Today I will honour myself by:
Letting go of any annoyances that come up about things that need to be done, or feelings of pity or regret if things don't go my way.
I will instead operate from divine love and wisdom. 🙏😇💖

Ideas for fun and joy:
I still want to do the egg races with friends... I just thought of another few activities we could do with the kids; like obstacle courses and dress up games (all socially distanced of course) 👗😍🧥👔🦺🕶️🧣👢🧢🎩

Dear wish fairy: Please wave your magic wand and make this wish come true:
Please grant me the wish of selling all of my posters easily and quickly, thereby giving me the down payment for the house I want and freeing up the space in my mother's house. Thank you.